The Witness Committee of Council has been trying to increase the level of ministry and missions throughout our congregations aimed at making abuse in any form unacceptable - and recognised! - and to provide a continuum of care for those who are abused. As part of its efforts in this regard, the Committee arranged for the Executive Director of the Cayman Islands Crisis Centre, Mrs. Estella Scott Roberts, to address Council on domestic abuse in the Cayman Islands at the Council meeting on 4th July.

Centre already cared for “60 – 100 women and children per year”

Mrs. Roberts noted that domestic violence as well as other forms of emotional and physical abuse all occur in Cayman at very serious levels. Child sexual abuse and incest, which she noted are real taboos in Cayman, even more so than adult domestic violence, are also factual issues here, much more than most of us may think. She said that their experiences to date did not suggest that Cayman was any different in this regard than elsewhere in the Caribbean and the United States, where statistics show that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 9 boys are sexually abused before age 18. The Crisis centre only opened in 2003 and already they have seen between 60 - 100 women and children access the Centre per year. At least 50% have moved on to new lives but approximately 20% have had to access the Centre on a repeat basis.

Should the Church be doing more?

In the children’s area, besides the abuse by older men having sexual affairs with young girls, often condoned even by parents because of money and gifts provided by the man, another problem her staff and other authorities in Cayman are having to deal with is date rape. In response to a question, she advised that the Centre does not deal with sex education, use of condoms, etc. and does not advocate "healthy sexual activity" or anything such. They deal with what is a healthy relationship; the right to say "no" and mean it; the right to their bodies; manipulation on dates; that no protection is a form of abuse, etc. She left with Council members some of the brochures they have produced on Dating Violence as well as other leaflets on "How Children are Affected by Domestic Abuse," "How to Talk to your Child about Sexual Abuse," "Responding to Child Sexual Abuse," "Physical and Behavioural Indicators of Abuse," etc. She assured Council that they are careful in using age appropriate material when they meet with groups and would want the Church or any group to be comfortable with the information they would be using, therefore the leadership for any group they are to meet with can see the material in advance. Congregations should get more of the material produced by the Centre and find creative ways to disseminate this information. The abuse has to be recognised, if we are going to start to make it unacceptable, and, surely, as those who are committed to doing the work that Christ would do in this area, we as the Church must do more than we have been doing to combat this ill and show the deep, caring love of Christ for those who have suffered abuse.

Mrs. Roberts made a special appeal to the Church to help "for the sake of the children." She stressed that women (and sometimes it is men who are abused) also deserved help to protect them from abuse and domestic violence, but she said even if some individuals feel that adults make the choice to get involved or to stay in such relationships, there can be no argument that the children have any choice in their case. She also stressed in this regard that even when children are not themselves subject to physical abuse, if they are growing up in a home where there is domestic abuse/violence, they will be adversely affected. She quoted statistics showing, for example, that 74% of children who have lived in abusive situations grow up to commit violent crimes, and suggested that a majority of those in our prisons are a product of such an environment. She said the children learn and live what they experience - and in homes with domestic violence, they learn to believe that 'violence is the way I get people to listen to me, to interact with me,' etc. And, she noted, if anyone is tempted to sit back and think, well I do not abuse my spouse so my child will be okay, remember that that child may grow up and enter into a relationship, including marriage, with someone who has grown up in the environment where abuse and violence are standard, and who has absorbed those ways. She also gave a number of examples of signs that may indicate a child being the victim of sexual abuse, as well as other forms of abuse. She noted that often when young girls, or women, are blamed for being promiscuous, etc., it may well be a result of them having been sexually abused in some form earlier in life.

“… gigantic role of the United Church …”

She commended the United Church for inviting her to speak to the Council and for our interest in working more in this area. She said she was aware of the "gigantic role" our Church plays in the life of the Cayman community in many ways and was therefore heartened by our concern. She commended the Church’s school, Cayman Prep & High School, for a good response, especially on dating violence, and noted that she had also worked with ITLD. She also said she cares passionately about the people in the community who are abused every day and she wants us to care too. As to how our Church can do more, she noted that “the more we can educate people on this, the more it pulls back the curtains.” She reported that we still have people in the community who do not know about abuse or recognise that they are abused, or their rights to their bodies. She also noted that abuse can take other forms, such as preventing a wife or girlfriend from working to earn a living, and that some foreign women do not understand their rights as individuals and that, regardless of their immigration status, they are not dependent on the whims of husbands who are abusive. She stressed the need for Church members to remember their critical positions as role models in the community, and that everyone has skills that can be used in prevention of abuse – that we can certainly protect our children. She stressed too the role of the Church in Cayman in shaping our moral fabric, in helping children to learn right from wrong, how to share, how to give, all of which are essential in developing healthy relationships and seeing abuse as unacceptable. She believed that churches were one of the first lines of contact for victims of domestic abuse, whether the children in our Sunday Schools, Youth Groups, After School Programmes, or the wife going to a pastor. But she noted that in the past, churches have not always sent the right message, especially to wives. She felt that, as agents of God, it was important for churches to always be asking what are we doing to help, to better, our community, and to care how we present ourselves to our community.

What do we do now?

Mrs. Roberts challenged us to learn more about the issue, and start talking more about it!

Other practical ways in which we could help include:

Since the Council meeting, we have received the Statement issued by the Council for World Mission of its priorities for the next 3 years, which our Church as a member has committed to. The first commitment listed is:

“Building up family life, with special reference to the abuse and violence towards women and children.”

Therefore, if our congregations in the Cayman Council would meet the challenge posed by the Witness Committee, by stepping up their ministries against domestic abuse and their missions to care for those who are abused, through assisting the Crisis Centre or in direct ways, then we would also have started to live out the commitment we have made as a member of CWM for the next 3 years, to the Glory of God.